. . . & notes
for ludic academe
a pack of cards
a tarot deck
a hypertextual paper
a bad joke
ideas in play
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean---neither more nor less."
"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master---that's all."
I never fall apart because I never fall together. -Andy Warhol
You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm. -Colette
Body odor is the window to the soul. -David Byrne
If you can't convince them, confuse them. -Harry S. Truman
Geek Rhetoric: Adapt or You're Toast
Never let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool you. -Joey Adams
I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it. - Edgar Allen Poe
Curiosity has its own reason. -Albert Einstien
I try to treat you like an artist. And all you want to do is fix toilets. -Ralph Lombreglia
I wasn't really naked. I simply didn't have any clothes on. -Josephine Baker
This writing stuff. Pencils and what-not. Over-rated, if you ask me. -Eeyore
There will be no rock 'n' roll in hell. -Duffy Strode
Hey Rocky...watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat! -Bullwinkle
A pathetic display of ignorance from the start
Too much of a good thing is wonderful. -Mae West
Anything's within walking distance if you have the time. -Steven Wright
It takes a heap of sense to write good nonsense. -Mark Twain
When a subject becomes totally obsolete we make it a required course. -Peter Drucker
We can't all and some of us don't. That's all there is to it. -Eeyore
A flute without holes is not a flute but a doughnut without a hole is a danish. -"Caddyshack"
If ever we needed a brain, now is the time. -Squiggy Squiggman
Oh, bother! -Winnie the Pooh
It's a Mr. Death, or something. He's come about the reaping. -Graham Chapman
Always remember to phrase your answer in the form of a question. -Alex Trebek
No way. -Wayne
Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight? -The Joker
How could I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this.-Ferris Beuller
This is what entertainment is all about- idiots, explosives and falling anvils. -Calvin
Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead. -Chinese Proverb
The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play. -Captain Kirk
And now for something completely different. -Monty Python
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose and sometimes it rains. -'Nuke' LaLoosh
Don't have a cow, man. -Bart Simpson
Never eat more than you can lift. -Miss Piggy
There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. -Calvin
How dry I am! How dry I am! Nobody knows how dry I am! -Anonymous
To err is human -but it feels divine. -Mae West
It is a bawdy planet. -William Shakespeare
It happens every time. They all turn into blueberrries. -Willy Wonka
Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. -Lily Tomlin
(Punk rock is) lunging after some glimpse of a new and better world. -Lester Bangs
One good turn gets most of the sheets. -Unknown
You can't trust your eyes if your imagination's out of focus. -Mark Twain
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans. -John Lennon
To be uncertain is to be uncomfortable, but to be certain is to be ridiculous.
What are You thinking?
What am I thinking?
Are we thinking?
This is a Joke. Do You Get It?
Read Beckett, Sartre, Camus, Genet and Kafka and you'll say: "Life is absurd, the world is meaningless and all of creation is insane."
Read Hunter S Thompson and you'll say: "Life is absurd, the world is meaningless and all of creation is insane -- cool."
Recipe for a Drink
The Top Ten Lies Told by Graduate Students
(taken from the Harvard Crimson)
10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is making
$80,000 a year on Wall Street.
9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/chapter/article.
8. My work has a lot of practical importance.
7. I would never date an undergraduate.
6. Your latest article was so inspiring.
5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.
4. I just have one more book to read and then I'll start writing.
3. The department is giving me so much support.
2. My job prospects look really good.
1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years.
Top Five Lies Told by Teaching Assistants:
5. I'm not going to grant any extensions.
4. Call me any time. I'm always available.
3. It doesn't matter what I think; write what you believe.
2. Think of the midterm as a diagnostic tool.
1. My other section is much better prepared than you guys.
YOU JUST MIGHT BE A GRAD STUDENT IF:
- You can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
- Your cubicle is better decorated than your apartment.
- You have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the
progress of your own joke across the Internet.
- You are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
- You have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
- You rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
- Everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
- You have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
- You have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while
researching a single paper.
- There is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."
- You actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
- You can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.
- You look forward to summers because you're more productive
without the distraction of classes.
- You regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
- You consider all papers to be works in progress.
- Professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.
- You find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.
- You have given up trying to keep your books organized and are
now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
- You have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
- You reflexively start analyzing those greek letters before you
realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.
- You find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade".
- You start refering to stories like "Snow White et al."
- You frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy
- You look forward to taking some time off to do laundry
- You have more photocopy cards than credit cards
- You wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to God
THE DEPARTMENT HEAD
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Talks with God
THE TENURED PROFESSOR
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if a special request is honored
Barely clears a quonset hut
Loses tug of war with a locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Is occassionally addressed by God
Makes high marks on the walls when trying to leap tall buildings
Is run over by locomotives
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Talks to animals
Climbs walls continually
Rides the rails
Plays Russian Roulette
Walks on thin ice
Prays a lot
Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotives two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can stay afloat with a life jacket
Talks to walls
Falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings
Says "Look at the choo-choo"
Wets himself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to himself
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
She IS god
Marialisa Calta's article, "By the Daunserly Light."
1. She talks about the word "daunserly" that she learned from the first verse of "The Star-Spangled Banner", Oh say can you see by the daunserly light... Daunserly was her own special word and to her, it meant: quick and sparkly, and she used it to describe how gazelles moved or how the sun danced on the ocean. Well one day she used it aloud and her mother, after finding out what daunserly meant and where it came from, broke the truth to her. It wasn't daunserly, it was dawn's early.
"Be aware of wonder."
We can't stay 6 for ever and ever but if we stay young we might always be as clever as clever.
Ya gotta play the cards you're dealt,
or just deal again
deep into my mongrel life
oh well whatever nevermind
god not only plays dice with the universe, s/he cheats.
That Krazy Kat
That's what's behind it.
Or, in other words,
"I ain't a Kat,
and I ain't Krazy" (Seldes 234)
"It's wot's behind me that I am" (Herriman 28)
she has that "certain I don't know what it is that I have" (Cantor 118)
with the enchanted mesa miraging into cacti, sage,
tumbleweeding back again to a tree, of sorts
and a soft taco moon hangs above
oblivious to the constant state of flux below
this performative (re)presentation
has sounds, images and words
a veritable poifick patois, yezza, a vocabulary composed of
the play of images and words (Eisner 8)
so "that we may mis-unda-stend each udda" (Herriman 61)
s'turbil to think wot it would be udda wides
and other ways, just
"plain language, but in a higher plane" (Herriman 28)
where form is content and vice-versa
and "krazy just bums around along the Baseboards" (Herriman 28)
and you can hear and see it all,
even though no one says a word (McCloud 25)
"the why, nor whom of which (McCloud 9)
meaning nothing to us
[filling our lives] with nothing of something less
and something of nothing more . . .
yes- of course not" (Herriman 184)
You see, "You're not seeing what you're looking at, it's a mirage"
the kat ponders, "Do my eye dissive me, or do I dissive my eye?"
"Now do you see it?" says ignatz
"How should I know if I dun't see it, wen I din't know if I seen it wen I was looking at it?" and
"If I din't see wot I was looking at. How do I know I was hearing wot you was telling me?" queries krazy
"Oh, you just think you do, but you don't, just as you don't, but do," replies the mouse
"I wunda if I am me, am I here, or am I there?" Or
Am i "only a obstikil dillusion"? (Herriman 193)
the peanut gallery can now begin to heckle