. . . & notes for ludic academe
a pack of cards a tarot deck a hypertextual paper a bad joke ideas in play
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said,
in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to
mean---neither more nor less." "The
question is," said
Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things." "The
question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master---that's
all."
I never fall apart because I never
fall together. -Andy
Warhol
You will do foolish things, but
do them with enthusiasm. -Colette
Body odor is the window to the
soul. -David
Byrne
If you can't convince them, confuse
them. -Harry
S. Truman
Geek Rhetoric: Adapt or You're Toast
Never let a fool kiss you or a
kiss fool you. -Joey
Adams
I have great faith in fools; self-confidence
my friends call it. - Edgar Allen Poe
Curiosity has its own reason. -Albert Einstien
I try to treat you like an artist. And
all you want to do is fix toilets. -Ralph
Lombreglia
I wasn't really naked. I simply didn't have any clothes
on. -Josephine
Baker
This writing stuff. Pencils and what-not. Over-rated, if you ask me. -Eeyore
There
will be no rock 'n' roll in hell. -Duffy Strode
Hey Rocky...watch me pull a rabbit
out of my hat! -Bullwinkle
A pathetic display of ignorance from
the start
Too much of a good thing is wonderful. -Mae
West
Anything's within walking distance
if you have the time. -Steven Wright
It takes a heap of sense to write
good nonsense. -Mark
Twain
When a subject becomes totally
obsolete we make it a required course. -Peter Drucker
We can't all and some of us don't. That's
all there is to it. -Eeyore
A flute without holes is not a
flute but a doughnut without a hole is a danish. -"Caddyshack"
If ever we needed a brain, now
is the time. -Squiggy
Squiggman
Oh, bother! -Winnie the Pooh
It's a Mr. Death, or something. He's
come about the reaping. -Graham
Chapman
Always remember to phrase your
answer in the form of a question. -Alex Trebek
No
way. -Wayne
Way. -Garth
Have
you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight? -The Joker
How could I possibly be expected
to handle school on a day like this.-Ferris Beuller
This is what entertainment is
all about- idiots, explosives and falling anvils. -Calvin
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead. -Chinese Proverb
The
more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity
of play. -Captain Kirk
And
now for something completely different. -Monty Python
Sometimes
you win, sometimes you lose and sometimes it rains. -'Nuke' LaLoosh
Don't
have a cow, man. -Bart
Simpson
Never
eat more than you can lift. -Miss Piggy
There's never enough time to do
all the nothing you want. -Calvin
How
dry I am! How dry
I am! Nobody knows how dry I am! -Anonymous
To err is human -but it feels
divine. -Mae
West
It
is a bawdy planet. -William
Shakespeare
It happens every time. They all turn into blueberrries. -Willy Wonka
Reality is a crutch for people
who can't cope with drugs. -Lily Tomlin
(Punk rock is) lunging after some
glimpse of a new and better world. -Lester Bangs
One
good turn gets most of the sheets. -Unknown
You
can't trust your eyes if your imagination's out of focus. -Mark Twain
Life
is what happens while you're busy making other plans. -John Lennon
To be uncertain is to be uncomfortable,
but to be certain is to be ridiculous. -Chinese
proverb
Joker What are You thinking?
Joker What am I thinking?
Joker Are we thinking?
Joker This is a Joke. Do You Get It?
Read Beckett, Sartre, Camus, Genet
and Kafka and you'll say: "Life is absurd, the world is meaningless
and all of creation is insane." Read Hunter S Thompson and you'll
say: "Life is absurd,
the world is meaningless and all of creation is insane -- cool."
Jokes, Riddles
Recipe for a Drink
The Top Ten Lies Told by Graduate Students (taken from the Harvard Crimson)
10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is
making $80,000 a year on Wall Street. 9. I'd be delighted
to proofread your book/chapter/article. 8. My work has
a lot of practical importance. 7. I would never
date an undergraduate. 6. Your latest
article was so inspiring. 5. I turned down
a lot of great job offers to come here. 4. I just have
one more book to read and then I'll start writing. 3. The department
is giving me so much support. 2. My job prospects
look really good. 1. No really,
I'll be out of here in only two more years.
Top Five Lies Told by Teaching Assistants:
5. I'm not going
to grant any extensions. 4. Call me any
time. I'm always available. 3. It doesn't
matter what I think; write what you believe. 2. Think of the
midterm as a diagnostic tool. 1. My other section
is much better prepared than you guys.
YOU JUST MIGHT BE A GRAD STUDENT IF:
- You can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot
operate. - Your cubicle is better decorated than your apartment. - You have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track
the progress of your own joke
across the Internet. - You are startled to meet people who neither need nor want
to read. - You have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar. - You rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for
your laptop. - Everything reminds you of something in your discipline. - You have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event. - You have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper. - There is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours." - You actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche. - You can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow
at the library. - You look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes. - You regard ibuprofen as a vitamin. - You consider all papers to be works in progress. - Professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore. - You find the bibliographies of books more interesting than
the actual text. - You have given up trying to keep your books organized and
are now just trying to keep them
all in the same general area. - You have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation. - You reflexively start analyzing those greek letters before
you realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt,
not an equation. - You find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th
grade". - You start refering to stories like "Snow
White et al." - You frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without
getting scurvy - You look forward to taking some
time off to do laundry - You have more photocopy cards than credit cards - You wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself
as "personal communication"
THE DEAN Leaps tall buildings in a single bound Is more powerful than a locomotive Is faster than a speeding bullet Walks on water Gives policy to God
THE DEPARTMENT HEAD Leaps short buildings in a single bound Is more powerful than a switch engine Is just as fast as a speeding bullet Talks with God
THE TENURED PROFESSOR Leaps short buildings with a running
start and favorable winds Is almost as powerful as a switch
engine Is faster than a speeding BB Walks on water in an indoor swimming
pool Talks with God if a special request
is honored
JUNIOR FACUTLY Barely clears a quonset hut Loses tug of war with a locomotive Can fire a speeding bullet Swims well Is occassionally addressed by God
POST-DOCS Makes high marks on the walls when
trying to leap tall buildings Is run over by locomotives Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting
self-injury Treads water Talks to animals
PhD CANIDATE Climbs walls continually Rides the rails Plays Russian Roulette Walks on thin ice Prays a lot
MASTERS CANIDATE Runs into buildings Recognizes locomotives two out of three
times Is not issued ammunition Can stay afloat with a life jacket Talks to walls
UNDERGRADUATE STUDENT Falls over doorstep when trying to
enter buildings Says "Look at the choo-choo" Wets himself with a water pistol Plays in mud puddles Mumbles to himself
DEPARTMENT SECRETARY Lifts buildings and walks under them Kicks locomotives off the tracks Catches speeding bullets in her teeth
and eats them Freezes water with a single glance She IS god
Marialisa Calta's article, "By
the Daunserly Light." 1. She
talks about the word "daunserly" that she learned from
the first
verse of "The Star-Spangled
Banner", Oh say can you see by
the daunserly light... Daunserly was
her own special word and
to her, it meant: quick and sparkly, and she used it to describe
how gazelles moved or how the sun danced on the ocean. Well
one day she used it aloud and her mother, after finding
out what daunserly meant and where it came from, broke
the truth to her. It wasn't daunserly, it was dawn's early.
"Be aware of wonder."
We can't stay 6 for ever and ever
but if we stay young we might
always be as clever as clever.
Ya gotta play the cards you're dealt, or just deal again
deep into my mongrel life
oh well whatever nevermind
god not only plays dice with the
universe, s/he cheats.
That Krazy Kat That's
what's behind it. Or, in other words, "I ain't a Kat, and I ain't Krazy" (Seldes 234) "It's wot's behind me that I
am" (Herriman 28)
she has that "certain I don't
know what it is that I have" (Cantor 118)
with the enchanted mesa miraging into cacti, sage, tumbleweeding back again to a tree,
of sorts and a soft taco moon hangs above oblivious to the constant state of
flux below
this performative (re)presentation has sounds, images and words a veritable poifick patois, yezza, a vocabulary composed of the play of images and words (Eisner 8) so "that we may mis-unda-stend
each udda" (Herriman 61) s'turbil to think wot it would be
udda wides and other ways, just "plain language, but in a higher
plane" (Herriman 28) where form is content and vice-versa and "krazy just bums around
along the Baseboards" (Herriman 28) and you can hear and see it all, even though no one says a word (McCloud
25)
"the why, nor whom of which (McCloud
9) meaning
nothing to us [filling our lives] with nothing
of something less and something of nothing more . .
. yes- of course not" (Herriman
184)
You see, "You're not seeing
what you're looking at, it's a mirage" the kat ponders, "Do my eye
dissive me, or do I dissive my eye?" "Now do you see it?" says
ignatz "How should I know if I dun't
see it, wen I din't know if I seen it wen I was looking at it?" and "If I din't see wot I was looking
at. How do I know I was hearing wot you was telling me?" queries
krazy "Oh, you just think you do,
but you don't, just as you don't, but do," replies the mouse "I wunda if I am me, am I here,
or am I there?" Or Am i "only a obstikil dillusion"?
(Herriman 193)
the peanut gallery can now begin
to heckle
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